NEED TO KNOW
Faced with Marciano Brunette’s latest accusation, Jessi Ngatikaura came forward with her truth.
Fans were left on a cliffhanger with Marciano alleging his inappropriate relationship was with Jessi, not Demi Engemann. When Layla Taylor confronts her with this information, Jessi explains herself.
“Jordan and I have been struggling. It’s been really up and down, and we did separate back in September. No one knew, and then I went to LA. Marciano was there, and I didn’t go into it thinking anything was going to happen at all, like I didn’t even know he was coming til the day before,” she begins.
“And then we were drinking and stuff. I kissed him twice. We did have an emotional affair, if that’s what you want to call it, but on my end, like I was just looking for validation,” she continues.
“I was just so heartbroken and hurt over what was going on in my life that I just needed a distraction. That’s really what it was. Jordan’s known for six months, so he’s known the whole time.”
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In a confessional, Jessi explains, “As soon as I told Jordan about the affair, I’d cut it off immediately.”
“We decided to keep this affair private because we’re gonna stay together, and we didn’t need outside opinions and voices. So I am furious at Marciano,” she explains. “The last time we had talked, it was like, ‘I have your back,’ and to see him just turn on me so quickly, it’s so confusing because I don’t know what the purpose is.”
Jessi then has to tell Jordan that the affair has been brought up on camera, making it time to confront the truth.
“I’m a little bit panicked because I never thought Marciano would talk about our affair on camera, and when this airs, it’s all going public. And I have a lot of people in my life that are still actively Mormons, and infidelity is definitely frowned upon in the church, and I’m really afraid of the backlash that’s going to come with it,” she says in a confessional.
“The worst part of this whole thing is that Marciano is lying. He said we had sex, and we didn’t. I’m terrified that Jordan’s gonna believe him over me. I’ve worked really hard to earn his trust back, and now it feels like all of that progress is just gonna go out the window.”
A heated discussion between the two occurs off-camera, but the sound is picked up. Jordan can be heard saying, “I’ve been trying to be respectful towards you, even at times when you might not deserve it. I’ve taken six months of my life going through hell and back, you treating me like s—, me treating you like s— and guess what? Do you want to know why? Because you’re numb and I don’t feel like you feel bad for what you did.”
The animosity between Jordan and Jessi leads them to agree on a separation period, a choice Jessi struggles with, noting, “Seeing how upset Jordan is just kind of solidifies the thoughts I’ve been having that this is all my fault and this is so detrimental to our relationship and to him as a person. Just knowing what I’ve done to our family, and like that I put us in this situation, makes me really sad. And I just feel so regretful, and I’m so disappointed in myself.”
As Jessi seeks comfort in her mom and sisters, she opens up about other complicated dynamics that led her to put herself in a position she normally wouldn’t with Marciano. It’s then that Jessi says that Jordan has engaged in “emotional abuse.”
“It’s hard because we do have kids, so I don’t want to share anything that would ever put them in a weird situation, but I feel like it got to the point where it could be considered emotional abuse — name-calling, talking down to each other, threats, things that just aren’t okay in a marriage or relationship. And it was every day. There wasn’t a single day we weren’t fighting,” she says in a confessional.
In a statement to PEOPLE, Jordan says, “I take full accountability for the pain I caused Jessi during our marriage. At that time in my life, I was deeply unhealed, and as the saying goes, hurt people hurt people. That doesn’t excuse my behavior in any way, it’s something I’ve had to face and take full responsibility for.”
“Over the past year, I’ve been in consistent therapy and doing the hard work to understand the impact of my actions and to grow into a healthier, safer, and more self aware person,” Jordan continues. “My focus now is on continued healing, being the best father and husband I can be, and making sure that the patterns of my past never repeat. I have deep remorse for the hurt I caused and so much respect for Jessi’s strength in continuing to fight for our marriage and family.”
In addition to working on her marriage, Jessi also wanted to clear her name. She shared text messages with MomTok to illustrate that things were flirty between her and Marciano, but his comments indicate they didn’t have sex.
“Reading back these texts from Marciano to the girls is definitely cringy and embarrassing. I actually can’t believe how disgusting I am, but I will say that I do think that these texts prove that we didn’t sleep together, so even though it’s humiliating to read these right now with what I’m going through. I need MomTok’s support more than ever, so I really need to find a way where I can prove my innocence and shut down this rumor.”
In episode 3, Marciano confirms to Jessi that he lied about them having sex and said he lied because he felt “used and manipulated” when she stopped talking to him. He also states that they did not have sexual contact besides kissing during the lie detector test.
Not only did Mayci Neeley and Mikayla Matthews get Marciano to tell the truth, but they doubled down on it when MomTok later met up with Marciano for him and Jessi to take a lie detector test. Jessi feels briefly vindicated when the lie detector test clears her name, only for her to hear Jordan’s reaction and feel back at square one.
“It feels like I’m the only one fighting for this marriage,” he tells her over the phone, adding, “You go do whatever you want. Have a good night.”
In a confessional, Jessi says, “Jordan is not super happy about this, which I get, but it’s hard because I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m not trying to purposely hurt him. All I’m trying to do is prove my innocence, and Jordan doesn’t seem to understand that. We’re going to have a conversation about all of this when I get home that probably won’t be pretty.”
Defeated, Jessi details her emotional abuse to the rest of MomTok, telling them, “There wasn’t a single day, I’m pretty sure, for the last three years where we didn’t fight. So it was like a constant control, there were so many things I wasn’t allowed ot do and if I did it, it would be a fight.”
“I didn’t do anything right — parenting, laundry, housework, but I was doing it all… so it was a lot of resentment and like, I’m the main breadwinner and he wasn’t doing anything to help,” she continued. “And so, name-calling, talking down to me, yelling, because I know I wasn’t treated well and I don’t want my kids to think that’s okay, because they did see some things.”
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives season 3 is now streaming on Hulu.
