Rachael Ray Shares the Key to Staying Married for 20 Years (Exclusive)

Rachael Ray recently enjoyed a low-key 20th wedding anniversary with husband John Cusimano.

While hosting Blue Moon Burger Bash 2.0 at the New York City Wine & Food Festival on Oct. 17, the celebrity cook and TV personality told PEOPLE the couple celebrated the milestone “in a very tiny way.”

Ray and Cusimano tied the knot in Italy on Sept. 24, 2005, renewing their vows a decade later in the same Tuscan castle where they got married.

“For our first 10, 15 years, I cooked for 60 to 70 people every single year,” Ray says. “And we would fly them over. It was a huge, big deal. My husband said, ‘This year,’ he said, ‘Honey, it’s our 20th. Can we just be quiet?’”

“So we spent two nights in Florence with friends, and two nights in Rome with friends, people that we know and restaurants that we love,” she adds. “It was very quiet. It was wonderful.”

The culinary star reflected on the key to staying married for 20 years.

“Take life very seriously; don’t take yourself seriously,” she says. “Have a sense of humor. And if you’re pissed off about something, say it. Get it out of your system, and then shut up and never say it again.

“We’re very simple,” she continues. “He can work alone all day in his studio. I can work alone all day in the kitchen or on my computer or drawing pictures or reading. We can both be alone, but we’re never alone together. We forgive each other. We like each other, and we tolerate each other. And that’s really it. You find the right one, and then that’s what you do.”

The Meals in Minutes host, 57, posted a heartfelt anniversary tribute to Cusimano, 58, on Instagram last month.

A video showed the couple toasting to the occasion with drinks in hand, before sharing a kiss.

“For you, I’ll always pay the toll,” Ray wrote. “Two decades, one kitchen, and the right recipe all along. 🧡”

“I couldn’t let the day get away before saying Happy 20th anniversary to us!” she added. “Our marriage has been the ultimate dinner party, always full of laughter, flavor and a little bit of spice.”

Ray concluded the caption, “Happy anniversary my love! Here’s to many more!”