NEED TO KNOW
Kelly Clarkson got raw and real with her fans 12 days before the death of her ex-husband, Brandon Blackstock.
In a newly resurfaced video recorded by TikTok user @modestishottest4u from Clarkson’s July 26 show at her Las Vegas Studio Session residency, the pop star, 43, broke down in tears multiple times while introducing the newly reworked version of her song “Piece by Piece.”
“Compartmentalization!” Clarkson urged herself while wiping away tears and trying to keep from crying.
She then went on to share that after a 2023 lyric change to “Piece by Piece” — in the wake of her 2020 split from Blackstock — she has since changed the song once again to reflect more of where she is today.
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“I’ve never rewritten a song more and I probably never will,” she began. “I wrote this song with a lot of hope and projection for happiness and better than what was happening. And then, well, life set in and I had to change the lyrics. Everybody was like, ‘Wait, why aren’t you singing this song?’ And I was like, ‘Have you heard the lyrics?’ That’s fun. Embarrassing.”
The song originally read as a message to Clarkson’s estranged father about how Blackstock was a better father and partner to her and was released in 2015, two years after the former couple tied the knot.
“I ended up changing the lyrics. We did it one time, I did a residency here, and then I was like, ‘You know what, that sounded a little angry,’ “ she shared. “So I just wanted to explain how it feels now. I’m 43. I’ve done some therapy, and I changed the lyrics now and I think it’s perfect. I promise. I’m not gonna change it again.”
Further explaining why she decided to tweak the lyrics, Clarkson added, “It just represents, kind of, I don’t know I feel like we grow up, right? And this is the more grown up version of it.”
However, as she tried to go on, Clarkson once again got emotional, saying, “I’m really trying to pull it together,” before introducing the song by declaring, “Screw it, let’s just sing it. This is ‘Piece by Piece.’ “
Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic
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In her 2023 lyric change, Clarkson sang, “I just walk away, when they ask for money. I take care of me ‘cause I love me. Piece by piece I restored my faith that a heart can still beat even when it breaks,” a seeming reference to Blackstock’s financial requests during their divorce.
And in the updated version Clarkson sang, “I’m learning everyday how to love me. I let go of the shame that you taught me. Piece by piece I restored the faith that a heart can still beat even if it breaks.”
Blackstock died of cancer on Aug. 7 at the age of 48. He and Clarkson shared daughter River, 11, and son Remington, 9. He was also dad to daughter Savannah and son Seth from a previous relationship.
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One day before the music manager’s death, Clarkson canceled the remainder of her Las Vegas shows, sharing in a statement, “While I normally keep my personal life private, this past year, my children’s father has been ill and at this moment, I need to be fully present for them.”
A source told PEOPLE that Clarkson has “been devastated” for her children amid her ex-husband’s private illness.
“When she found out that he was sick, she remained protective of him for their sake,” the source said. “Kelly has always tried to keep things classy. It became clear earlier this year that Brandon was not doing well. She’s been devastated for the kids.”