NEED TO KNOW
The TikTok video opens with Zachary Willmore belting a line from an Ariana Grande song played from his laptop. He pauses the music abruptly, turning his platinum blond head to look directly into the camera with perfectly lined eyes enhanced with mascaraed lashes.
Without a hint of jest or irony in his tone, the college student told his 2.3 million followers, “I’m gonna rush a frat.”
The get-ready-with-me video — which Willmore, 22, posted on Sept. 16 — sees him on day two of his journey to join the Greek life system at San Diego State University. The fourth-year student touched up his blush and highlighter as he detailed his plan for the rush event ahead of him: Taco Tuesday.
“I’m not gonna be late. I’m gonna say hi to all the brothers. I’m gonna make a great impression,” Willmore said before showing off his outfit choice for the rush event. Channeling Cher’s signature set from Clueless, he donned a belly-bearing, cropped gingham blazer with a matching mini skirt.
“I know it probably lowers my chances to dress femme or whatever, but I don’t care! I genuinely feel like it’s so important to dress like myself,” he added. “If they don’t want me because I dress femme, so be it. I don’t belong there. Rejection is just not something I’m that scared of.”
Willmore echoes that same sentiment to PEOPLE as he reflects on his decision to join a fraternity.
“I came from Missouri, the gays stick with the girls in Missouri … which of course, I love the girls for life,” the SDSU senior says. “But I kind of did miss brotherhood a little bit, which is funny given the fact that I’m so feminine. I think that’s why I’ve been so fascinated with fraternities this whole time, because I look at them, and that’s a completely different type of bonding that I really want to be a part of. I just want to experience that.”
Zachary Willmore
Willmore first rushed his freshman year, telling PEOPLE he “went into it not really expecting a lot of pushback.”
“When I said I was going to do it, it didn’t register for me. But then after the first day, it kind of hit me where I was like, ‘Dang, these are the straightest guys I’ve ever been around,'” says Willmore.
Alice Pi
Not that he took issue with anyone’s heterosexuality, but he was put off when, he says, he sensed traces of homophobia.
During the rush process, Willmore worried that he would never find a true iteration of the brotherhood he was seeking. That fear was grounded in a meaningful interaction he had with a member during his freshman year rush.
“One of the gay guys in a fraternity came up to me and was like, ‘Hey, I just wanted to let you know I could potentially get you a bid. I could really, really vouch for you if this is what you want, but I have to let you know that a fraternity works as a tier system, and a lot of the times, minorities can be at the bottom,'” Willmore says of the interaction.
“He kind of told me about his experience as a gay man in the fraternity and how he was usually the one who did all the scheduling, and then also just how difficult it was for him to kind of call them out on their behavior in a lot of ways,” he tells PEOPLE, claiming the said behavior included using gay slurs.
Even after hearing that member’s most candid review of the experience, Willmore admits that his younger self still longed to be a part of Greek life. Ultimately, however, he deduced that it wasn’t the best way to start his first year of college.
The years passed, but Willmore’s interest in Greek life didn’t wane. He even started the process again as a junior, but after one day of rush, he backed out, telling himself he was “too old.”
“Then this year I was honestly like — pardon my French — ‘F— it. It’s my last year I wanted to do this for three years. I still am thinking about it and fascinated with fraternities and kind of craving that brotherhood,'” says Willmore. “So I thought I’d give it another shot.”
“I did it in my own way. I didn’t go up to anyone specifically and say anything, but I knew that they all knew me on TikTok,” he said.
Willmore decided to make a video addressing and clarifying some of the “concerns” he heard the first time he rushed. For example, the content creator said he would offer to sign an NDA since he knew that some frat members worried about his social media presence.
“The second thing that people were worried about was being known as the gay frats [if they offered him a bid],” he notes. Willmore didn’t shy away from his identity in the TikTok video posted ahead of rush this year.
He summarizes his approach to PEOPLE, “There’s not a lot that I can do about that, because I am super gay, but I promise that I’ll be a good brother.”
Willmore was especially encouraged by one of his friends, a gay man in Greek life who had a completely different experience than the member Willmore met as a freshman. His friend is in a frat for engineering students, and he painted it as such a safe, inclusive space that Willmore decided to add an engineering minor to his degree so he could qualify for the on-campus group.
The other members were just as inviting as Willmore’s friend. He remembers meeting with the engineering frat president to discuss what joining would look like, and they welcomed him without prejudice.
“They were like, ‘We want you to feel as comfortable as you want to make the decision to join or not. If anyone ever says anything, let us know. We will completely take care of it. We want you to feel safe. We want you to feel like you can come here, no problem. And genuinely, if anything ever happens, do not be afraid to reach out,'” he recalls. “That really meant a lot to me.”
Having established himself as a fraternity member both on campus and online, Willmore is carving space for a new type of “frat guy.” By being proud of his place in Greek life and proud of his sexuality, Willmore is opening up Greek life for more young, gay students curious about that world of brotherhood.
Chelsea Lombrozo
“There was this cute, little freshman and he came up to me. He was like, ‘Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I saw your videos when I was in high school … You really honestly inspired me to rush this year, but I’m really, really nervous,'” Willmore tells PEOPLE.
He walked the new student to his class to hear out his anxieties about the situation. After listening, Willmore gave the advice he was missing during his own freshman year.
“It’s a fun experience. These guys cannot actually hurt you. The worse comes to worst, they can make it uncomfortable for you if they don’t want you in their fraternity, but you should have fun,” Willmore recalls of his words to the rush hopeful. “You should not feel like your sexuality is prohibiting you from doing something that you want to do or feeling like you want to join a brotherhood.”
Willmore was heartened to learn that his words of encouragement resonated, and the freshman did decide to rush. Perhaps Willmore can’t personally deliver those messages to every gay prospective frat member, but he hopes his social media platform will serve a similar service. If viewers glean anything from his videos, Willmore wants them to understand the significance of living life “the most fun way possible.”
“I know that you should graduate and get good grades and everything, but I think that life stops being life when you stop having fun,” he adds. “So do anything that you want to do, what your heart tells you that you should, as long as it’s not hurting anyone else.”
