Colin Donnell and Patti Murin Share the Secret to Their 10-Year Marriage (Exclusive)

Over a decade into their relationship and two kids later, Colin Donnell and Patti Murin have learned the importance of three things: “listening, patience and acceptance.”

Speaking with PEOPLE on the red carpet opening of Lincoln Center Theater’s revival of Ragtime earlier this month, the couple and theater superstars identified those qualities as the secret to their 10-year marriage.

“We still really like each other,” Murin said. “We like hanging out together, we like being around our kids. So it makes it easier to get through any bumps because that love trumps everything.”

It also helps that the two are both in the same industry.

“Of course, I had to marry an actor and he had to marry an actress,” she jokes. “But it does lend a really big level of understanding that we have that may not be the same way with someone in another career.”

Donnell, 43, and Murin, 45, wed on June 19, 2015, at the Housing Works bookstore in New York City.

“Oh, golly. It was beautiful,” Donnell says. “It was a small wedding, but we had our family and friends there. It was great. I remember everything about it. There was so much love in that room.”

“I can’t believe how fast it’s gone by,” he adds. “It’s gone by in a flash.”

Murin is equally joyful. “It really was the most magical day,” she shares. “We made it as stress-free as possible. We didn’t follow rules we didn’t want to follow. We got married in a bookstore and ate great food and danced with our friends. And I’m a big book nerd, so seeing all my friends among all those books was priceless.”

The two are now parents to daughters Cecily, 5, and Lorelai, 2½. The girls, Murin says, are “both very musical.”

“Cecily has been singing perfect pitch since before she could talk. She likes to write songs. And Lorelai’s getting more into singing — she’s getting better,” Murin teases. “It started out kind of dubious. But they both love to get a microphone in their hands and perform, so we’ll see where that goes.”

“They take after Colin, mostly,” Murin adds. “I think it’s easier to see the way they take after me because they’re girls and it’s easy to look at them and be like, ‘Oh, little Patti.’ But they’re daddy’s girls.”

Ragtime is one of the most powerful and enduring works of modern musical theater. Based on E. L. Doctorow’s acclaimed novel, the musical tells the sweeping story of three families in early 20th-century America (one white, one Black and one Jewish immigrant) whose lives intersect amid a time of tremendous social change.

The musical — with a score by Stephen Flaherty and Lynn Ahrens, and a book by Terrence McNally — first opened in 1998. The new revival, directed by Lear deBessonet, comes to Lincoln Center Theater after a sold-out run at New York City Center last year.

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In the production, Donnell plays Father, the wealthy patriarch who grapples with the changing times. It’s a challenging role, unlike others the Chicago PD alum has played before.

“Ultimately at the end of the day, I just wanted to be truthful to who the character is and what he is,” Donnell says. “He is a complex, difficult person, and I didn’t want to be afraid to show the ugliness of who he is. And then, hopefully, I’m able to instill some humanity that audiences can at least take away with them.”

He has the biggest cheerleader in Murin.

“I’m just so proud of him,” she tells PEOPLE. “Playing someone like that is really hard, but to watch Colin do it so well that you find yourself caring for his character by the end? That just shows how good he is.”

“I value her opinion so much, and I was just blown away by her reaction,” says Donnell. “She came to see me after the show and she was still crying. She had seen it at City Center beforehand and loved the production there, but there’s something about what is happening at Lincoln Center — the lived-in performances that are now being given — that just moved her beyond words. So that felt really wonderful.”

Tickets for Ragtime are now on sale.