Billy Joel Felt Like a ‘Loser’ After Third Divorce Before Meeting Wife Alexis

Billy Joel is looking back at his life both on and off the stage.

In the two-part documentary Billy Joel: And So It Goes, the “Big Shot” singer reflected on getting divorced from his third wife Katie Lee and how meeting his current wife Alexis Roderick Joel changed his perspective.

“I was going through another divorce. Three times. A three-time loser. And the fear of being alone again, dying alone, not having that person in my life anymore… and getting old,” Joel, 76, said in the film. “So I was drinking again, just to kind of ease that pain. So yeah, it was kind of a lost time.”

Joel and Lee, 43, met in 2002 when they bumped into each other at the Peninsula Hotel in New York City. They wed in 2004. He was previously married to Elizabeth Weber from 1973 until 1982 and Christie Brinkley from 1985 to 1994. They share daughter Alexa Ray Joel.

During his marriage to Lee, Joel struggled with alcohol abuse, and Lee strongly encourgaged him to go to rehab. “She kind of gave me an ultimatum. ‘Either you do something about your drinking or this isn’t gonna work out,'” Joel recalled in the documentary.

“At that point, yeah, the relationship wasn’t doing well. She became very career-oriented and she wanted to be in the city, she wanted to socialize,” he added.

In the film, Joel also mentioned a “theory” that Lee had been “having an affair with some guy.” “That’s a bunch of bulls—,” he clarified. “We just drifted apart from each other.” Lee and Joel ultimately divorced in 2009.

Lee believed there was “always a little bit of resentment” for pushing Joel to go to the Betty Ford Center, calling it “hard on our relationship.” She explained in the film, “And in a lot of ways it was hard to recover from that. I don’t think either one of us wanted it to not work out, but it just became obvious that it wasn’t working.

“And I remember one night, we had dinner and I said, ‘Bill, I’m unhappy.’ And he said, ‘Do you want to get a divorce?’ And I said, ‘Yeah.’ And he said ‘OK.’ And that was it,” added Lee.

Joel met his current wife, Alexis, 43, in 2009 when he introduced himself to her at a restaurant in Huntington, N.Y. They started dating shortly after their encounter.

“When you meet someone who captures your imagination, it renews, it revitalizes…. I don’t know if I was open to starting a new relationship. I thought that wasn’t gonna be possible. How am I gonna be able to do that again? I can’t go through that again,” he said in the documentary. “But all of a sudden, something happened. Something popped. And I was open to it.”

Alexis was an executive at Morgan Stanley when she and the “Vienna” singer met.

“She was in charge of a whole section of a financial company and she was successful at it. And I wasn’t really thinking about working anymore. So I was home a lot. And when she got home, there I was cooking and serving dinner,” he said in the film.

Joel married Alexis in 2015, surprising the 40 guests at their July 4 party with wedding vows. They share daughters Della ,9, and Remy, 7.

Joel acknowledged in the documentary that he had made “a lot of mistakes” in his life, but had grown and learned from them. “And even after everything I’ve gone through, I still believe in love, I still believe in relationships. And it’s always a big factor in my life. I probably am a romantic at heart.”

After sharing his diagnosis of normal pressure hydrocephalus, Alexis thanked fans for their “love and support” on Instagram. “We are so grateful for the wonderful care and swift diagnosis we received. Bill is beloved by so many, and to us, he is a father and husband who is at the center of our world.”

“We are hopeful for his recovery,” she added. “We look forward to seeing you all in the future.”

In a recent PEOPLE cover story, Joel said that he’s “really enjoying this time in my life” as a husband and father of three.

Both parts of Billy Joel: And So It Goes are available to stream on HBO Max.