Selena’s Husband Chris Pérez Says ‘Not a Day Goes By’ That He Doesn’t Think of Her

When Chris Pérez, husband of the late singer-songwriter Selena Quintanilla, joined Selena y Los Dinos as lead guitarist in 1989, he never imagined he would fall in love with the band’s charismatic lead singer.

“We were friends first, so I got to know her on that level,” Pérez, 56, tells PEOPLE. “I worried her dad would kill us, but when she wanted something, she was determined.” Against her family’s wishes, Pérez married Selena in 1992 — he was 22, and she was 21 — not knowing that almost three years later, the beloved singer would be shot and killed at age 23. 

Now, 30 years later, Pérez and Selena’s family are opening up about the Queen of Tejano Music in the new Netflix documentary Selena y Los Dinos: A Family’s Legacy, debuting on Nov. 17. “I think about Selena every day,” Pérez says. “When I’m making a decision, I can hear her in my head, like, ‘I don’t know — are you sure you wanna do that?’ ”

Before their relationship turned romantic, Pérez had already recognized that Selena’s talent was singular. “There are a lot of talented people out there, but she just had something special,” he says. “It’s not just the voice, but the way she did it. She’s such a beloved figure and an icon that her fans, especially, want to know more about her.”

Reflecting on the painful chapter of her death, Pérez says it marked a permanent dividing line in his life. “I’m Chris before all of that happened, and Chris after,” he explains. “She’s a part of both sides. I’ve lived with her presence in thoughts and feelings and music. That’s become my new normal. But I can’t watch the end of the documentary about her death. It’s just difficult.”

As for Selena’s enduring legacy, Pérez says the passage of time has only deepened the meaning of their story. “As time has gone on, you romanticize it even more,” he says. “The love story is a big part of her legacy. My most prized possessions are her love letters. I hope that her fans, or the people who watch the documentary, understand how lucky I feel to even have that.”

Although the documentary opens a window into their relationship, Pérez says some memories will always stay private. “There are a few things that I will always keep to myself,” he says. “I believe in a husband-and-wife relationship, even when one of them isn’t here anymore. We’re all going to keep certain things to ourselves, private. But to be able to share a little bit extra that people don’t know was really important to me. It was really important to give as much as I could.”

For Pérez, Selena’s influence remains timeless. “We just passed Halloween, and when I went through my social media, there were so many costumes — little kids dressing up as Selena with smiles on their faces. It’s such a beautiful thing,” he says. “I think it’s hopefully gonna keep on being passed down from generation to generation, because you can’t stifle that kind of greatness.”

Selena y Los Dinos: A Family’s Legacy will be available to stream on Netflix from Nov. 17.