Gerry Turner Says He Felt ‘Empty’ During Proposal to Ex Wife Theresa

Gerry Turner is reflecting on the day he proposed to ex-wife Theresa Nist.

The Golden Bachelor star, 74, dropped several bombshells about his relationship with Nist, 72, in his new memoir, Golden Years: What I’ve Learned From Love, Loss, and Reality TV. Among the shocking revelations was Turner’s recollection of his engagement and the emotions he was grappling with in the moments before getting down on one knee.

“Standing on the platform set up for the proposal, I felt empty,” he wrote. “I had already made the decision that I was going to propose to Theresa, so the feeling wasn’t about my resolution. Rather, there was no happiness in the moment.”

The night prior, he ended his relationship with runner up Leslie Fhima, who has been open about feeling “blindsided” by the breakup after claiming their conversation during their overnight date left her “100% certain” that Turner was going to choose her.

“The question was, did I feel empty because of the pain I had caused Leslie?” Turner wondered. “Or was it because, on some level, Theresa had won by default? I don’t know the answer and probably never will.”

He went on to admit that he has “several regrets” about his journey as the Golden Bachelor, and “the way I handled the process with Leslie is, without a doubt, my greatest one.”

“More than a year after that night in Costa Rica, I still have gut-wrenching pain when I think about the way I hurt her,” he confessed.

In hindsight, Turner acknowledged that the way he treated Fhima was a projection of his own “inability to be honest with myself.” Because he didn’t want her to feel pain, he explained that he offered her a false sense of reassurance.

“I didn’t want to let her down, even though that was inevitable,” he said. “I was shying away from conflict and discomfort instead of accepting those feelings. When it came time to do what was right for me, I had to be true to myself and what I believed was best for my future. I couldn’t ignore what I perceived as her reluctance to commit, even if it meant she felt deceived. Leslie is a good person. I’m sorry she’s not the right person for me.”

That night was “miserable,” Turner recalled, and while he tried to focus on the excitement that was to come with Nist, he was unable to reframe his mindset.

“While Leslie got to hole up with room service or drown her sorrows in the hot tub, I had to pivot from a depressing, soul-crushing night to what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life,” he wrote. “In order to propose to Theresa in the way I wanted, I had to rekindle joy in my heart. My pep talks, which had snapped me out of any funk previously, disappeared into the black hole that was my current state of mind. What should have been an exuberant day fell like a heavy wet blanket around my shoulders.”

“With all that was transpiring, I’d neglected to consider a critical component of the journey,” he continued. “I had been so committed to finding my forever partner on The Golden Bachelor, I’d never considered the possibility that leaving without my person was an option.”

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The same day the novel was released on Nov. 4, Nist — who was married to Turner for three months before they filed for divorce in April 2024 — spoke out on the Dear Shandy podcast. 

“You did me no favors by marrying a woman that you did not want to marry,” she said directed at her ex. “You should not. You should have called off the wedding. No matter that we were on TV, that didn’t matter. This was our lives. You should have stopped it.”