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Demi Engemann is grateful for the support of her family in all seasons.
Speaking with PEOPLE ahead of the holidays, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star, 31, says that she’s been focused on family amid the fallout from season 3 of the Hulu series.
Demi says she is “proud” of the fact that she and husband Bret have leaned on the tools they’ve built throughout the course of their marriage to weather this challenging season.
“I’m so proud of us, truly. And I love full transparency around hardships, relationships. I have openly admitted that Brett and I had a rocky start blending our family and that there were multiple times where I thought this isn’t going to work out,” she tells PEOPLE.
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“I’m so proud of us for being able to weather the storms that we have, and especially when it comes to navigating reality TV and being in the public eye. That’s extremely difficult, and as we know, the success rate is very, very low.”
Understanding what their reality is like versus what is playing out on reality TV has “truly made us stronger,” Demi says.
“And I don’t say that lightly. We put in the work, we go to therapy, we openly communicate, we seek to understand each other, we forgive each other, and we just really strive to make sure that each other’s needs are met. And we genuinely, deep down, just love each other and respect each other to our core.”
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This season of the show saw Demi at odds with much of MomTok, and while the reunion left off with the mom making “strides” with the group, she’s appreciated having family and a close inner circle to lean on as the show has unfolded.
“I will say with me, and you can interview every single person who’s known me for years and years, they will say with me, ‘What you see is what you get.’ And I mean that in terms of it is extremely difficult for me to be anything other than just myself,” she explains.
“I think that shows in the way that there are times where I’m not as polished, I’m sometimes a little bit too blunt or a little cutting with my words. But I also have the biggest heart, and I care for the people that are in my life, and I’m extremely loyal and generous and all of the things. And you see all of that with me.”
This reality star is coming off of a particularly bombshell season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, which included a NSFW secret about Demi and Bret’s personal life. Fruity Pebbles-gate didn’t shake the couple, however, or their inner circle, who lent their support.
“I was a little nervous, obviously, with the Fruity Pebbles and Bret’s kids, but they came together pretty immediately and were just like, ‘Let’s just make fun of the whole situation. What are you going to do? We just got to laugh,’ ” Demi shared of her stepsons, Rome, 20, and Cole, 18.
“So they were good sports about it, and my family jumped right in on social media and did the same thing. And really, I couldn’t be more grateful for the love and support that I have with them. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have that inner circle to rely on for that.”
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Demi has embraced it as part of her parenting journey, blending her and Bret’s family. In addition to Bret’s sons, whom he shares with ex Angie Harrington, Demi is also mom to Maude, 8, whom she shares with ex Blake Corbin.
“It was rocky in the beginning, finding your footing,” she acknowledges. “You’re finding your place in terms of, they already have parents, so where do I step in? What’s my role? And then to add another layer of fun and complications as well, Bret and I are in such different stages of life. His kids were entering their teenage years, where my daughter was 3, almost 4.”
“So it was just a very different season of life, and that definitely brought its challenges. But we made it through the teenage years successfully, which, wow. I mean, really every teenage parent needs to pat themselves on the back. And if you survive it, that is incredible because those were some rough years, but we’ve made it through and now we’re reaping the benefits of having relationships with Brett’s adult children, which is so crazy to say.”
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While family life, particularly in the spotlight, isn’t always “roses and butterflies,” Demi’s committed to sharing her story and “shedding light on the hardships” so others don’t feel alone.
“I think it can help people who are going through a similar thing, watching us navigate that. And so I’ve tried to be transparent about even the hard times of motherhood and being a stepmom. And ultimately, I really could not be more grateful for the co-parenting relationships that we have with both my ex and Bret’s,” she says.
“Everyone truly just puts the kids first and just allows for there to be a space of everyone feeling heard and understood, and it makes such a difference. It’s been a journey, but it’s been wonderful.”
Demi and Bret are hopeful that 2026 will bring peace to their family and possibly a new addition.
“I want to enter into a little bit more of a slower season of life. And as we’re preparing to hopefully bring another little baby and expand our family and potentially start building a home, I really just want to bring in a softer, new, fresh energy that just more so staying in my lane, focused on me and my circle, and obviously, helping others where I can.”
